Guys rules to dating

In her new book, The Gaggle: How The Guys You Know Will Help You Find The Love You Want, Jessica Massa coins a new dating term every girl should know.

Say hello to your gaggle: the group of guys already in your life that will lead you to Mr. Here's how it works..."Your gaggle is the group of guys who you might not be 'dating' or in a defined relationship with, but who fulfill some sort of need in your life," Massa explains.

Remember that he's already your friend, so there's a whole lot that he likes about you, Massa says. That means no crazy makeup or boob shirts when he's used to seeing you casual.

Go for subtly sexy instead..then rachet it up after a few dates.

"They are helping you figure out who you are, what you want, and what type of man you ultimately desire." These dudes can include The Hot Sex Prospect, The Career Booster, and The Ex-Boyfriend Who's Still Around.

Let this be your new mantra: Everything and nothing is a date.

There are those of us who treat dating as if it's a job hunt, those of us who treat the whole process as if it's a job unto itself, and those of us who fear — gasp! " The only "rule" should be that you just be yourself and quit being beholden to rules.Research by Ok Cupid from January found that talking about politics can actually improve your dates. "Every relationship is different, so there is no prescribed period of time before or after which you should sleep with someone," says Ettin. "I'm not sure why this rule ever got traction," says Safran.Ultimately, don't feel you must have sex on the third date or, as Ettin points out, any specific date for that matter.But discussing these things may be the way to find what you're really looking for."If you are going out on lots of first dates and find that people aren't looking for serious relationships, then ask some more serious questions," Stef Safran of Stef and the City tells Bustle.For example, asking about politics can do more good than harm. Just as rules should be thrown out the window, so should "scheduling" when you'll have sex for the first time with someone.

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Don't get hung up on small things and keep the big picture in mind.

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